Wednesday, March 14, 2012

PAINT THE WORLD RED

This morning I read an article about an Indian man who traveled all 196 countries. It took almost seven years and a whole lot of money. Pretty awesome I think. Below is a map highlighting places I've been. I'd love to paint the whole world red.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

HOW TILL SPAKE NORN IRON

Every Saturday morning I teach a businessman called JC. We have a one to one class in a study room in my neighbourhood. He's a great guy, a successful entrepreneur and someone I learn a lot from.
Despite it being useless to his future business plans, JC is always keen to learn Northern Irish expressions and slang. In our last class, I spent the full two hours teaching him "how till spake Norn Iron". It was hilarious! JC's English is pretty good and he doesn't have a very noticeable Korean accent. But to look this Asian man in the eye as he greeted me with "Bout ye big lad', was very unusual. And even more strange and funny as he assaulted me with a barrage of insults - minger, melter, munter. He told me stories of firing stones at the peelers and getting lamped by his ma when he was wee.
I can't wait for the next class when he has learned all these expressions. His homework is to tell me about his childhood using Norn Iron. It should be interesting.

Monday, March 05, 2012

HAIKU

Scent of damp spring buds
Killed by fumes and acid rain.
Trees are all we need

Saturday, March 03, 2012

HAIR CUT BY AN ANGEL

I've just returned home from the hairdressers. I tried another new place today. Three and a half years here and still I haven't found a salon that I want to return to.
Anyway, my hairdresser TODAY was a guy called Toko, or something to that effect. He was pretty cool. Just jabbered away in Korean, content with a minimal grunt or smile from me. And, as is usually the case in Korea, someone other than your stylist washed my hair.
My hairwasher TODAY was a tall, slim, attractive girl with a perfectly built, and probably expensive, nose. As I reclined in the hairwash chair I asked her if she spoke English. She loudly and confidently answered no. A little, I asked. Again, a very confident no.
Then I asked what her name was (in English). Heejin she answered. Then changed her mind. No, no, no. Angel, she said with a big proud smile.

Friday, March 02, 2012

HAIKU

Weathered yellow rose
Endured fall and winter storms
Disappeared in spring

Saturday, February 11, 2012

驛馬煞 YUKMASAL

This week one of my students introduced me to the Korean word yukmasal (驛馬煞). My Korean English dictionary says it is "a person with itchy feet". However my students and Korean friends have several different opinions on the meaning.

The word comes from three Chinese characters. Yuk (驛) means station and ma (馬) is horse. Sal (煞) has been hard for me to understand and I've received different answers when asking the meaning. It seems to be similar to "destiny", and a bit like "aura", and most likely something in between. Although I've also heard it described as "bad spirit".

This history of yukmasal is very interesting. Many generations ago in Korea, before having such an awesome transportation system, horse and rider was the main method of delivering messages. Like many other countries, when the government had a new policy, or tax, or an order to send to another town, the message was delivered on horse back.

En route from the capital, and scattered around the country, were yukmal (驛馬) - literally horse stations. These were places where riders could turn in their tired horse for a fresh one before continuing on their journey. And interestingly enough, my closest subway station, Yanjaeyuk, used to be a yukma.

At that time in Korean history, being a messenger was considered unfortunate. There was a caste system, and only low-ranking citizens did this work. Thieves in the mountains made the job risky. And of course, Korea's extreme climate ensured a likelihood of becoming sick.

Korea was an agricultural society at that time, though not nomadic like Mongolia. So people settled in one place, and any digression from that life was frowned upon. Still today, there seems to be a strong mentality here that a settled job is a good job. But according to my student, Jin, the world, and Korea, is changing. Now a man will go abroad if he has the ability too. And because of this, the once very negative meaning of yukmasal, is becoming more positive. Often used in a joking manner, it can even be seen as a compliment in some cases to indicate a person has traveled a lot for enjoyment.

This word has really intrigued me and I enjoyed many a discussion with students and Korean friends about it. Some of the quotes that came out quite impressed me,

-"After leaving home, you will not come back".
-"It's your fate to be so active".
-"Just follow the wind".
-"You have lots of wind". (I had to correct my student on this one.)
-"It's an inherited illness".
'"If you meet a beautiful woman, you can't keep the relationship very long". (Damn!)


These talimans are typical charms for people with yukmasal. They are carried for protection against evil spirits, disease and accidents. They are also extremely expensive when bought from a temple. So feel free to print these off and tape to your arm before your next vacation.

Friday, February 10, 2012

THE IRONY OF LENT

2012 brings with it my twelfth year of giving up booze for Lent. This horrendous forty-six day period gets harder and harder every year. Even more so in countries like Korea and Japan where so much of the socializing is done round a soju or sake bottle. Add singledom to the equation and you can imagine what a battle it is to avoid alcohol and alcohol-events for almost seven weeks.
Although my Catholic upbringing was the origin of this regular pre-Easter abstinence, I still continued this practice in my now Atheist life. There are four reasons I do this.

1. It's good for my body, especially my liver and beer belly. Oh wait, I guess strictly speaking, it's bad for my beer belly, right? Anyway, it's good for my liver!

2. It's damn tough. I find it really difficult. And therefore, it must be good for my willpower and mental strength and, uh, making a man of me.

3. To ensure I'm not becoming an alcoholic. I read somewhere that being born Irish is being born into alcoholism. Although my country ranked only 15th in recent world alcoholism statistics, I do tend to drink everyday at times and to often drink alone at home. My drinking is usually in moderation and never when I have to work. But surviving Lent each year reassures me that I don't have a drinking problem.

4. Appreciation of alcohol - before, during and after Lent i have a profound appreciation of booze. Beer tastes great, whisky warms my heart and Korean makoli brings me pure joy and satisfaction. I'm not exaggerating. Knowing I won't or didn't have it for a while makes me thankful when I can. As they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or is it Absinthe?

The irony of Lent is that for the weeks preceding and following it, I drink like a fish. I drink everyday. If I don't drink, I feel I'm missing out on limited opportunities. I justify this over-consumption with excuses such as "I better stock up", or "I deserve this for what I'm about to do". So this year, as afternoon drinking becomes more common, I question whether the physical "benefits" of Lent actually exist. Is Lent actually good for me? Or do the pre and post-consumption nullify the benefits of the dry period?

Or perhaps this new questioning of my annual routine is my inner alcoholic trying to find a way out of doing Lent.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

IT'S A SAXOPHONE

I started a new private class last night. It's in one of the fanciest buildings in Seoul, the Gangnam Finance Center. My new student seems to have a status on par with the building in which he works. Mr Park oversees the construction of power plants. In March he'll move to India to build natural gas power plant. I was contacted to get his English ready for dealing with his Indian partners and staff.
Our first class was a little stiff, as it usually is when I'm attempting to teach business English to people who know much more about business, and often more about English, than me.
About thirty minutes into class I heard a loud beep. And then a boop. And then a bope. I ignored the beep and the boop, but the bope grabbed my attention. I looked at Mr Park inquisitively. "A trumpet", I think he said. "A what", I said. "Oh, no, not a trumpet," he said. I smiled. "It's a saxophone!", "My boss is learning".
And for the remaining thirty minutes of the class we both tried to keep serious faces. Discussing reverse discrimination and workplace glass ceilings as his boss slowly, methodically went up and down the saxophone scale, I had to bite my inside lip a few times to prevent an outburst of laughter.
Once in a while I accidentally smiled. Probably not very professional, but I think we broke the ice.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

MAKING BEER

This week my buddy Dave invited me to his home to make a batch of beer with him. A whole new experience for me, I took a lot of snaps at different stages. We started about 2pm and finished around 10pm. It's a full day's work, with lots of waiting for the right moment to add something or cool something, etc. But a lot of fun as my buddy Derek joined and Dave supplied us with plenty of homemade beers and ales as well great stories from his world travels. Cheers Dave.

Below are some snaps with a brief description of the process according to my blurry memory.

The first step is to get some yeast going. This is a yeast starter with dry malt extract.
Then heat water to 71 degrees. Dave always uses wired thermometers to accurated gauge and maintain correct temperature. Though I have doubts about his method of measuring water volume. Look at that handwritten scale!

The water is then added to this cooler which holds grains like wheat and roasted barley.

Then we wait and drink Dave's homebrew while the hot water converts the grain starches into sugars.

Dave sometimes referred to this website, hopsville.com, to calculate times needed use their free hoppiness indicator.

Next we slowly pour the solution into the bucket. Slow is important so it won't be cloudy from sediment and stuff.

And then slowly pour the solution back in along the sides of the cooler. This helps to settle the grainbed. It's called vorloffing.

Dave multitasking.

All the solution is then drained, new water heated to 80 degrees and the procedure repeated once.

When the second solution is ready, both are added together and brought to the boil. The hops are also added at different stages. Dave used three hops; Warrior, Amarillo and Centenial. He also addes Irish Moss, a type of seaweed, for flavour.

Dave's scales, which he insists are only for measuring hops and seaweed.

Dave calulating hop input times and weights. Uh, I'm no expert, but wouldn't it be best to do calculations before we try six types of homebrew?

Checking the density of the concoction.

When the 75 minute boil has finished, we use a Dave-designed cooler. Cold water is pumped through this copper piping to cool the liquid as quickly as possible.


The yeast is then added and the whole batch is sealed up in a sterile container with a gas release device on top.

It is definitely a lot of work. And the ingredients don't seem to be cheap. But it's also a really fun way to spend a day. And judging from the quality of Dave's homebrews, it's well worth the time, effort and money.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

OUT THE WINDOW

One of my students just told me a funny story. When he was a baby, he was in his pram/stroller at home. Held in by the straps, we was unhappy and tried to get out. Shaking back and forth, back and forth, the pram picked up speed and moved across the room to the open window. The window was big, but there was a plastic guard to protect "stuff" from falling out. The pram smashed the plastic guard, fell out through the open window, sailed two stories down to the ground and smashed. With my student still in it! He was totally fine and uninjured. Wow!