驛馬煞 YUKMASAL

This week one of my students introduced me to the Korean word yukmasal (驛馬煞). My Korean English dictionary says it is "a person with itchy feet". However my students and Korean friends have several different opinions on the meaning.

The word comes from three Chinese characters. Yuk (驛) means station and ma (馬) is horse. Sal (煞) has been hard for me to understand and I've received different answers when asking the meaning. It seems to be similar to "destiny", and a bit like "aura", and most likely something in between. Although I've also heard it described as "bad spirit".

This history of yukmasal is very interesting. Many generations ago in Korea, before having such an awesome transportation system, horse and rider was the main method of delivering messages. Like many other countries, when the government had a new policy, or tax, or an order to send to another town, the message was delivered on horse back.

En route from the capital, and scattered around the country, were yukmal (驛馬) - literally horse stations. These were places where riders could turn in their tired horse for a fresh one before continuing on their journey. And interestingly enough, my closest subway station, Yanjaeyuk, used to be a yukma.

At that time in Korean history, being a messenger was considered unfortunate. There was a caste system, and only low-ranking citizens did this work. Thieves in the mountains made the job risky. And of course, Korea's extreme climate ensured a likelihood of becoming sick.

Korea was an agricultural society at that time, though not nomadic like Mongolia. So people settled in one place, and any digression from that life was frowned upon. Still today, there seems to be a strong mentality here that a settled job is a good job. But according to my student, Jin, the world, and Korea, is changing. Now a man will go abroad if he has the ability too. And because of this, the once very negative meaning of yukmasal, is becoming more positive. Often used in a joking manner, it can even be seen as a compliment in some cases to indicate a person has traveled a lot for enjoyment.

This word has really intrigued me and I enjoyed many a discussion with students and Korean friends about it. Some of the quotes that came out quite impressed me,

-"After leaving home, you will not come back".
-"It's your fate to be so active".
-"Just follow the wind".
-"You have lots of wind". (I had to correct my student on this one.)
-"It's an inherited illness".
'"If you meet a beautiful woman, you can't keep the relationship very long". (Damn!)


These talimans are typical charms for people with yukmasal. They are carried for protection against evil spirits, disease and accidents. They are also extremely expensive when bought from a temple. So feel free to print these off and tape to your arm before your next vacation.

MAKING BEER

This week my buddy Dave invited me to his home to make a batch of beer with him. A whole new experience for me, I took a lot of snaps at different stages. We started about 2pm and finished around 10pm. It's a full day's work, with lots of waiting for the right moment to add something or cool something, etc. But a lot of fun as my buddy Derek joined and Dave supplied us with plenty of homemade beers and ales as well great stories from his world travels. Cheers Dave.

Below are some snaps with a brief description of the process according to my blurry memory.

The first step is to get some yeast going. This is a yeast starter with dry malt extract.
Then heat water to 71 degrees. Dave always uses wired thermometers to accurated gauge and maintain correct temperature. Though I have doubts about his method of measuring water volume. Look at that handwritten scale!

The water is then added to this cooler which holds grains like wheat and roasted barley.

Then we wait and drink Dave's homebrew while the hot water converts the grain starches into sugars.

Dave sometimes referred to this website, hopsville.com, to calculate times needed use their free hoppiness indicator.

Next we slowly pour the solution into the bucket. Slow is important so it won't be cloudy from sediment and stuff.

And then slowly pour the solution back in along the sides of the cooler. This helps to settle the grainbed. It's called vorloffing.

Dave multitasking.

All the solution is then drained, new water heated to 80 degrees and the procedure repeated once.

When the second solution is ready, both are added together and brought to the boil. The hops are also added at different stages. Dave used three hops; Warrior, Amarillo and Centenial. He also addes Irish Moss, a type of seaweed, for flavour.

Dave's scales, which he insists are only for measuring hops and seaweed.

Dave calulating hop input times and weights. Uh, I'm no expert, but wouldn't it be best to do calculations before we try six types of homebrew?

Checking the density of the concoction.

When the 75 minute boil has finished, we use a Dave-designed cooler. Cold water is pumped through this copper piping to cool the liquid as quickly as possible.


The yeast is then added and the whole batch is sealed up in a sterile container with a gas release device on top.

It is definitely a lot of work. And the ingredients don't seem to be cheap. But it's also a really fun way to spend a day. And judging from the quality of Dave's homebrews, it's well worth the time, effort and money.

PREP FOR NEXT TRIP

Following each trip I take, I always make a few notes about mistakes I made or things that would've made the trip better so that I can use that on my next trip. Here's what I jotted down after Indonesia.

-Pack many business cards. Much easier and more reliable than scribbling email addresses on paper
-Bring my phone charger. I thought USB charger would be best, but was wrong. Checking the country's voltage and socket shape would be much more sensible. Finding computers and having enough time to fully charge my phone was a hassle.
-Have a phone that can be used with a local sim card. The 'getting away from it all' doesn't have to be so inconvenient I think. On a month trip I met a lot of people that I saw, or tried to see, regularly. Without phone contact it's much harder to arrange meet-ups, or very expensive to call from internet cafes/hotels.
-Keep a daily journal. The best and busiest days are those on which you forget to write.
-Prepare MUCH better. I've always been pro free-travel, but an itinerary would have helped maximise Ronan's short time there as well as keeping me busy enough to not get lonely.
-If possible, travel alone first and meet friends for second part of trip to prevent loneliness. Actually I knew this already, but because of climate I asked the lads to come out at the start of September. Next time I'll be more selfish.
-Learn some of the local language BEFORE going. Specifically: greetings, thanks, numbers and price negotiating, as well as one funny phrase like 'oh my god'.

REFRESHED

The sun is shining, the park is green, the birds are chirping and I feel great.

Hello patient blog-readers. Apologies for the long absence. Nineteen months living in the financial district of one of the worlds mega-cities without a single noteworthy holiday sapped the life out of me. But I'm back! After a month-long holiday in the Emerald Isle (Ireland) I feel refreshed, rested, happy and ready for the next stage of my life.

I returned to Korea yesterday and awoke at 4am this morning. Since I'll be starting work on Thursday and must return to my 5am rises anyway, I decided to get up and make the most of this spectacular weather. A bit of planning, a cup of tea and phone-call home from the park. And then a run around my area as the sun rose.

It probably sounds terrible, but I've never really been excited to be in Korea. I arrived here in October, which is the start of a long cold winter. I was pretty broke when I arrived so didn't really explore much or do many fun things. And as good as my job is, there are usually no periods of holiday time. So I just got into a routine of working and saving and having a few beers now and again. And after a year and a half, the longest period I've stayed in one country BY FAR without a big trip abroad, I realised I really needed a holiday.

A month ago if you asked me my favorite place in Korea, or what there is to do here, I would've struggled to give you an answer. But now, returning in the blossoming spring, I feel much more positive about this place and my time here. In fact, I actually feel kind of excited to be back here. It was about this time seven years ago when I flew out to Thailand for my first experience living in Asia, and the air here right now is reminding me a lot of that and bringing back some of the nostalgic excitement.

So, the main focus for the next few months will be saving money. But I've a holiday to Taiwan already booked for September, which is great since I've a new country to look forward too. And I'll also take a few weekend trips and stay in touch with the great outdoors.

And I'll try to make a better effort with the blog too :-)

LIFE'S 50 GREATEST PLEASURES

These days I'm very interested in the 'science' of happiness. I've read some great books about it like The Happiness Hypothesis (Haidt) and The Geography of Bliss (Weiner). And today I was very pleased when one of my students brought in a related article for News Day.

Batchelors Cup-A-Soup recently did a survey of 3000 Brits to find out life's greatest pleasures. I can't find drinking, making or buying soup anywhere on the list but the results are interesting.

It seems that most things that make us happy are quite small, and usually free, like the first snowfall of the year or catching up with old friends.

I've copied the list below, but I don't know how to reverse the order. So if you want the best last, you should scroll to the bottom and read up from number 50.

Top 50 greatest little pleasures in life:

1. A good night’s sleep
2. Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket
3. Cuddling up with a partner in bed
4. Crying with laughter
5. Having a lie-in
6. Sleeping in newly laundered bedding
7. Getting a bargain
8. Making someone smile
9. Catching up with an old friend
10. Laughing at things that have happened in the past
11. Eating a Sunday roast with your family
12. Someone saying you look nice
13. Curling up on the sofa with a good book and a hot drink or soup
14. Discovering you’ve lost a few pounds
15. Breakfast in bed
16. Waking up thinking it’s a work day and then realising it’s the weekend
17. A random person smiling at you in the street
18. Looking through old photo albums
19. Eating a takeaway
20. First snow fall of the year
21. Singing your heart out to your favourite song in car
22. Having lunch with friends
23. Listening to a baby laughing
24. Having a massage
25. Reading a book or listening to your iPod on holiday by the pool
26. Playing in snow
27. Finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly
28. Being chatted up
29. A girly-night in
30. A pampering session at home
31. The smell of freshly cut grass
32. Sitting in the pub with your friends
33. Looking at a baby asleep in a cot
34. Waking up in a room with an amazing view
35. Clothes shopping
36. Receiving a letter from a friend
37. Fitting into an old pair of jeans again after losing some weight
38. Staying up all night getting to know someone special
39. Your mum’s cooking
40. Getting dressed up for a night out
41. Watching a live band
42. Drinking a cold beer after work
43. Browsing in a secondhand book shop
44. Going to the cinema
45. Getting a new hairstyle
46. Your queue being the quickest in the supermarket
47. The cold side of the pillow
48. Watching a DVD
49. Getting tipsy
50. Popping bubble wrap.

TOP TEN TOP TENS

One of the topics we did this week in my adult general conversation class was Top Ten Lists. For homework I asked them to prepare their own top ten list of anything they want, preferably something interesting. There were the usual lists of favorite foods and places, but lots of original stuff too. Here's my top ten favorites of my student's top ten lists in no particular order:

TOP TEN...
1. situations I can't bear on public transport.
2. surprising things about mosquitos.
3. most beautiful English words.
4. longest bridges.
5. accidents I have witnessed.
6. lies men tell women.
7. things that surprised me in China.
8. world's healthiest foods.
9. Korean foods that Japanese people like.
10. times/places I'd go if I had a time machine.

LOVE TEETH

I've been complaining to my students about my coming wisdom teeth. I had the uppers removed in Japan and maybe I'll need the lowers taken out here. I haven't been to the dentist yet becuase I'm already suffering too much with a suspected broken rib (thanks awesome boxing master!) and stomach problems (though getting much better). So surgery in my mouth is not what I want right now. I'll wait a while and hope it just goes away.
Anyway, my students taught me that the Korean word for wisdom tooth is 사랑니-sarangni, which translates as 'love tooth'. It's a sign that real love is ready to come in to your life. Hearing that really cheered me up. And I'd much rather be in love than be wise :)

BOXING: FIRST CLASS

All I have to say is, 'boxing is painful, so painful'. And I haven't even been punched yet!
Yesterday, my Korean buddy David (see climbing photos) and I joined Seoul Boxing Gym. My health club gym membership ended a couple of weeks ago and I decided not to resign. I hate gyms, I've always hated gyms and two years ago told myself I'd never go one again. I've always figured if your life is active enough you won't need them. And if you have to exercise, you should find a fun way to do it. But big city life changed me so I ended up lifting weights and running a treadmill like a hamster for months just to stop the over indulgance of big city life from killing me. But I've now decided that getting punched in the face on a regular basis will be better for my health...
A former student told me about Seoul Boxing Gym a while back and I decided to join when my gym membership was up. He told me it was reasonably priced, but warned me that the 'master' was a bit of a loose cannon and hot tempered with a habit of telling students "You're rubbish, just go home" (in Korean of course). But somehow this attracted me to the place more than deterred me. Images of me proving myself to my 'master' masked the realistic images of me vomiting in the toilet or passing out from exhaustion, or memorizing Korean for "I want my Mommy", in case of emergencies. I envisoned facing my master and replying to his scornful comments that "I might be rubbish, but I will not go home", or something really cool along those lines, even as he jabs a finger into my little beer gut.
Unfortunately though on the first day he wasn't mean enough to me for me to make my point. So I'll have to wait.
He did however grab my beer gut. Early on, before warming up he took a look at my paunch and then grabbed it. Instinctively I tensed up, but quickly reconsidered in hope that he would go easy on me. He laughed and gave it a shake. To which I replied 'mekju mani'-a lot of beer. He said something in Korean about not drinking anymore which I couldn't understand even when David translated it. Anyway, probably not important.
Then we did some stretching and he got us started on the jump rope. We had to do five rounds of three minutes each with a thirty second break between. There's even a real bell that rings at these intervals. Skipping mightn't sound that difficult, but you'd be amazed. And we had to alternate from one foot to the other and then at different angles. David and I were saturated in sweat by the end of the third 'round'. And in the fourth and fifth we were delirious and swearing, but too afraid to quit despite the cramps.
Then we got a short break followed by more jumping. This time though it wasn't with a rope. Just posing in front of the mirror in a boxing stance. It took about five minutes for me to get the stance correct. I couldn't understand the coach and David was too tired to translate so the big meanie resorted to pushing me and kicking my feet until the position was right. I laughed at these actions, but I was crying on the inside. Thought I felt better when I saw him do the same things to David. Ha!
Anyway, we then had another three gruelling rounds of trying to maintain this position while hopping up and down (like boxers?).
Then three more rounds of skipping even though we could hardly stand. Then he let us go home telling us we need to know how to do our own taping my tomorrow and and that today was just a gentle warm-up. I made some excuse about having a date and said I'd come back 'another time'. He laughed, but I could see he wanted to slap me. He said something about needing to practice a lot and reiterated his earlier point about alcohol intake, which I still didn't understand.
Now, the morning after, my calfs are a little stiff, but otherwise I feel good. And since I've already paid a months fees I might actually go back again. Watch this space...

TEMPLE STAY

I went on a temple stay last month. I'd been meaning to do one here for a while, but wanted to wait for warm weather as sleeping on a wooden floor in the cold didn't appeal to my sensitive nature.
I'd been on two temple stays before, one in Thailand with my elementary school students, and one in Japan with my parents. So this was my first solo retreat.
I had originally planned to go the a foreigner meditation centre, but through some unusual circumstances (and very poor planning) I ended up in an ancient temple famous for it's fighting monks (historically, not now).
It was just me and a Korean family of four there. There was no English program, but with the family's help plus my twenty words of Korean, I was able to get by.
I arrived late in the afternoon to the surprise and amusement of the monks who were not expecting me (because I wasn't even expecting to be there - long story...) But they quickly regained composure and donned me in temple attire then introduced me to the family.In the evening we got a tour of the temple grounds and learned about the interesting history (I guess), then rang the big temple bell while focusing on our wish (whatever we were hoping to achieve through the temple stay). Then we had to do some tedious tracing of Korean script and a picture of Buddha. Actually it wasn't as boring as it sounds, and probably serves some purpose, but it was a bit achey on the wrists.That evening we all had a temple dinner together consisting of very simple, but delicious and wholesome vegetables, rice and soup. The family were really warm and welcoming to me and I was glad they were there too.
After dinner we did some worship and meditation. I had always meditated with my eyes closed before, but this monk taught us to keep your eyes half open and focus on space one meter ahead, so as to not get sleepy. I tried, but actually found it really distracting and it hurt my eyes a little. So I certainly didn't reach an enlightened state.That night we were sent to bed at nine o'clock, just like the monks, in preparation for a four o'clock wake up call. But I usually finish teaching at nine, so there's no way I can go to sleep that early. I walked around the temple taking photos, but not for long. It was pretty dark and I was afraid I might be disturbing the sleeping monks if I wandered around too much.I tried going to sleep, but it was pointless. The floor was too hard. There weren't enough blankets for padding. It was too hot to get under my blanket, but I had to because of the mosquitoes. I tossed and turned most of the night and when I finally got sleepy I was so anxious about sleeping in for the morning worship, I couldn't sleep well anyway.I probably slept about an hour and then dragged myself out into the dark pre-dawn wondering what the hell I was doing there anyway. The family were still snoring in the room next to me so I went alone to one of the small halls where the monks where chanting in the candlelight. It was nice and kind of surreal. I preformed my 108 bows, which is actually kind of painful when your not used to it. You have to go from standing position right down onto your knees then prostrate yourself head to the floor.
Then, when the family finally got up, over an hour later, I did it all again with them. Exhausting! But it's meant to be good for you diet. Whatever the hell that means.
Next was the mandatory and tedious brushing of the yard with big dopey branches. I know that it's all part of the humbling procedure or whatever, but after nearly 250 bows I was knackered and really couldn't be bothered. And to make matters worse, after devising a super-efficient system of brushing whereby I started at one end, brushed a straight line towards the wall, and then at the end went the opposite way brushing along the same line, thus ensuring all the leaves and rocks where reaching the wall and no areas were being missed.
But just as I was making good progress, the youngest of the Korean sons came over and started brushing randomly on top of my hard work and on parts I hadn't touched yet. What a mess. I wanted to punch him in the head, but I knew that would be bad for my karma. I think I must've been tired.
Next was time for breakfast. We all fetched and served the food together and it was a long, slow and ceremonious procedure. Actually it was really nice to take so long over a meal, and it tasted so much better and fulfilling because of it. Thankfully after breakfast it rained and I got time for a twenty minute lie down. That made the hour hike in the mountain behind the temple much more enjoyable. And then for the most enjoyable part of the trip. The Korean family, monk and myself went down to a little cabin-style tea house built by a stream for some late morning green tea. It was so peaceful. The tea house was also a gift shop, but the early time and morning drizzle meant there were no tourists hanging about. There was wonderful traditional Korean music playing. Very meditative. And the green tea was served bitter, in tiny, delicate cups. As the monk and the family quietly talked, I sleepily drifted of in my own thoughts and felt, for the first time in a long time, at total peace with the world. And those few minutes feeling like that, made the whole, exhausting, painful experience worth while.
Then it was time to leave. The family kindly drove me all the way to Inchon where they treated me to lunch in a Chinese restaurant. And after our goodbyes I caught a bus home, exhausted and probably no closer to enlightenment, but with another new experience and interesting memory.

EAT YOUR GREENS

Here's a great article from Time magazine. It's not too long and really informative so read it if you've time (that's a pun, haha).
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If you really want to go green, the conventional thinking goes, buy a hybrid. Practically speaking though, there is a faster and cheaper option: shift to a low-carbon diet. The meal plan of the average American family accounts for 2.8 tons of CO2 emitted annually, compared with 2.2 tons for driving. Worldwide agriculture contributes some 30% of global greenhouse-gas emissions, far more than transportation. So when it comes to cutting your carbon footprint today, the truth is that what you eat is as important as what you drive. "If you can't buy a Prius," says Jonathan Kaplan of the Natural Resources Defense Council, "you can certainly eat like one."

And here's better news: eating green is good for you. The very foods with a high carbon cost--red meat, pork, dairy products, processed snacks--also tend to be laden with fat and calories. A green diet would comprise mostly vegetables and fruits, whole grains, fish and lean meats like chicken--a diet that's eco- and waistline friendly. "[Eating green] can make a big difference for the climate and be more healthy," says Doug Gurian-Sherman, senior scientist for the food and environment program at the Union of Concerned Scientists.

It may be hard to believe that a meal at McDonald's produces more carbon than your trip to the drive-through--until you consider just how vast and energy-intensive the global food system is. More than 37% of the world's land is used for agriculture, much of it ground that was once forested--and deforestation is a major source of carbon. The fertilizer and machinery needed on a modern farm also have a large carbon footprint, as does the network of ships and trucks that brings the food from the farm to your plate. On average, it takes seven to 10 times as much fossil-fuel energy to produce and ship food as we get from eating it.

The most efficient way to shrink the carbon footprint of your menu is to eat less meat, especially beef. Raising cattle takes a lot more energy than growing the equivalent amount of grains, fruits or vegetables: most produce requires about 2 calories of fossil-fuel energy to cultivate per 1 calorie of food energy; with beef, the ratio can be as high as 80 to 1. What's more, the majority of cattle in the U.S. are reared on grain and loads of it--670 million tons in 2002--and the fertilizer used to grow that feed creates separate environmental problems, including surface runoff that leads to dead zones in coastal waters like the Gulf of Mexico. Those grain-fed cattle then belch methane, a greenhouse gas that is 20 times as potent as CO2. "Reducing beef is the first step to a green diet," says Michael Jacobson of the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI).

That one step can make an enormous impact on the atmosphere and your arteries. A 2005 study by the University of Chicago found that one person switching from a red-meat-based diet to vegetarianism could save about the same amount of CO2 as trading in a Toyota Camry for a Toyota Prius. There's no shortage of evidence that reducing red meat--Americans eat more than 60 lb. of dead cow annually--is also good for your health. CSPI estimates that replacing one 3.5-oz. serving of beef, one egg and a 1-oz. serving of cheese each day with an equivalent amount of fruits, vegetables and grains would cut your daily fat consumption and increase your fiber intake, all while conserving 1.8 acres of cropland and reducing animal waste by 11,400 lb. each year.

And while locally grown has become some eco-eaters' mantra, what you eat matters more than where it comes from. Our food travels from 1,500 to 2,500 miles on average from farm to supermarket, but that journey typically accounts for just 4% of a food's carbon footprint. "Focus on eating lower on the food chain, with more plants and fruits and less meat and dairy," says Kate Geagan, a dietitian and author of the forthcoming book Go Green Get Lean. "It's that simple." Installing solar panels or buying a hybrid may not be possible for many of us, but we can change today what goes into our bodies--and those decisions matter, for the health of our planet and ourselves.

MY FRIEND'S DAD SAID...

My friend, Greg, lent me the book The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Greg majored in Psychology and his father also works in that field. When his da sent him the book he included a note saying this is the best psychology book in the last thirty years. To be absolutely honest, this is the only psychology book I've read in the last thirty years, but I agree anyway. It blew me away. Really, really interesting. I recommend to everyone, though if you have a strong religious faith, you may find this a little contradictory.

GOOD FOR THE 'S'

To be honest, I don't believe in a 'soul'. I think it's a lovely concept and certainly aids in promoting moral behavior, but I just don't believe it actually exists. Maybe it's just a way of explaining to ourselves all the unexplainable thoughts and feelings we experience as a highly evolved and intelligent animal. Not to mention the strong influence of religious propaganda throughout the generations.
However, I do believe some things are good for and some bad for that unexplained 'part' inside us, the 'S'
Living in a big city, tall buildings, grey, lack of sunlight and overpopulation are all bad for the S I think.
Being surrounded with and/or interacting with nature, live music and dancing as well physically providing for yourself (fishing, building things, cooking) are all good for the S I think.
So here in the big city, the first big city I've lived in, I sometimes feel I feel my S is suffering. To counteract that, this week I went for a hike and to see some live jazz music (though, no jazz-dancing, I promise). A short hike on Sunday and an hours good jazz on Tuesday fully refreshed me for another week of congested subways and racing the other rats in this metropolis.

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS YUMMY BREAD

For a long time I thought Shilla Bakery, like all Korean bakeries, just provided a limited selection of delicious, but over-priced breads. However, upon close inspection I recently learned that they do much more than feed the hungry middle-class. Shilla Bakery is an integral part of Korean society and facilitates a nation-wide harmony, both at home and in public. Who would've known? I wish we also had bakeries in Ireland that "make your family happy" and "share pleasant conversations". Maybe one day...

LIPSTICK INDEX

Lipstick Index is a term they use out here when talking about the economic situation. Basically when the economy is suffering and consumer confidence is low, the sale of lipstick goes up as women still wish to shop and look good, but can't afford the usual clothes, handbags, accessories, etc. I thought that was kind of funny. But maybe it is also said in other countries and I've just never heard it.

A NICE LITTLE OLD LADY

As I walked down a tree-lined street on my way home to the hostel I passed a little old lady. Returning from an unsuccessful mission to find a supermarket (notoriously difficult in this Russia) I was very pleased to see the little old lady selling some fresh produce. Tired of wasting my precious rubles in overpriced restaurants prices my eyes lit up the sight of her table of goods.
The old, frail lady wrapped in an old, well-worn shawl sat behind an old, frail collapsible table. The table, no bigger than a school desk, was neatly adorned with what appeared to be the contents of the little old lady’s garden. A bunch of chives, a small heap of potatoes, a few bundles of herbs and two small, but proud piles of young, fresh tomatoes.
The little lady had just sold a bunch of herbs to another woman and the two were chattering away in incomprehensible Russian as I approached. At the site of the table my belly rumbled, a noisy reminder of my failed supermarket mission and of another costly restaurant meal to come. I stopped and smiling, I lifted a tomato. I looked for the calculator, by which transactions are done all over the world when we tourists haven’t the manners to even learn the basics of the language. However, there was no calculator, nor pencil nor paper. So in English I asked ‘How much’, whilst rubbing my thumb and fingers together. Both ladies looked confused. I asked a couple more times, but to no avail. Then with a brain storm, I opened my wallet and took out a few small notes, pointing at them and then the tomato. But still no signs of understanding. As the only three occupants on the long street, there was no one to help in this awkward exchange and I considered just walking away. But then the old lady took the tomato from my hand, placed it back on the pile of tomatoes and covered the lot with both hands. ‘How rude’, I thought. ‘Doesn’t want to sell them to a foreigner, huh’. The other lady tried explaining something to me, speaking slow and loud, but it was no use. Then the old lady took her hands off the pile of tomatoes and put them on the other pile. Then back onto the first pile all the while looking me in the eye.
‘Oh, I get it’, she wanted me to buy the whole pile. ‘Ahah’, I laughed at my own dimwittedness, ‘Of course she’s not selling these tiny tomatoes individually'. With my new understanding I reclaimed my single tomato and tried my best to explain that I neither wanted nor needed a whole pile of tomatoes and that one would be just fine. This bargaining went on for a while but the old lady appeared adamant that they should be sold as a team or not at all. Finally giving up I put the delicious looking little tomato back on the pile. But the woman smiled and returned it to me. ‘Ah, success’, I thought reaching for my wallet again. As I tried to pull out some money she put her small wrinkled hands over mine and shook her head. ‘Please take something’, I said, but grasping my meaning she held my hands firmer and smiled.
And so I walked away a happy boy with a free tomato from a nice little old lady.

TRANS-SIBERIAN SHOWER

On my four-night Russian train journey I was adamant about staying fairly clean despite my best mate’s earnest promise that 'nobody washes on the train'. So I swallowed my pride, grabbed my towel and headed for the toilet.
Here’s how to stay clean on a long haul Russian train trip.

Materials needed:
-Toilet
-Soap
-Shampoo
-Empty 1.5 litre Russian beer bottle (plastic, not glass)
-Small towel
-A lot of agility
-A little courage

Use a camping knife, pen-knife, sharp spoon or whatever else is available to cut the bottom off the beer bottle. Take all materials to your wagons toilet. Put all above-mentioned materials in a plastic bag and discreetly walk to toilet trying not to attract the Provodnitsa’s (Wagon-attendant) attention. Once inside, lock toilet door.
NOTE: The next steps should be carried out as swiftly as possible without compromising your balance on a slippery floor.
1.Remove plug from toilet floor (should be in the middle under the plastic mat).
2.Strip down to flip-flops.
3.Double check door is locked. If the lock has turned only 45 degrees and not 90, then it is NOT locked. Trust me.
4.Fill beer bottle with tap water.
5.Pour tap water over head. Stand up straight to ensure maximum drippage onto body. Try to ensure no water enters mouth.
6. Shiver and swear.
7.Lather up with shampoo.
8.Fill beer bottle again and rinse. This step may need repeated.
WARNING: Right about now your feet and flip-flops may get very slippery. The train my also be rocking, so be careful. If the train is not rocking, you may be stopped. If so, you are in a bad, bad situation.
9.Lather up with soap. Focus especially on armpits and other hairy areas, you probably need to.
IMPORTANT: You are now in a dangerous and vulnerable situation, so it is good to pray to God/Buddha/Other whilst scrubbing. If the train arrives at a station while you are in the toilet, the Provodnitsa WILL bang on the toilet door until you come out. And if you can neither read Cyrillic nor speak Russian, like me, you will be guessing when is the best time to shower, or using your own invented formula (mine was to go right after a train stop, but this is not 100% full proof).
10.Rinse.
11.Dry and dress
12.Wipe down the area and ensure it doesn’t look like someone had a shower there (so the Provodnitsa doesn't kill you).
13.Return plug to floor.
14.Return to your compartment discreetly and swiftly.
15.Hang towel on curtain rail so it will be dry for next day.
16.Stand in corridor next to open window and enjoy the feeling of freshness while it lasts.

THE THINGS I LEARNED IN RUSSIA

1. Not only is a mullet an acceptable hairstyle, it is considered cool.
2. Russians, both men and women, have the coolest eyes I’ve ever seen.
3. It is fine to have a kebab for breakfast.
4. It is fine to have a beer for breakfast.
5. A kebab and a beer make a well balanced, nutritious breakfast.
6. Drinking carbonated water for four days is really, really awful.
7. I am not tall and strong (as Japan led me to believe), but actually short and skinny (as Russia forced me to believe).
8. Moscow's Metro has the fastest moving/most dangerous escalators in the world.
9. Moscow has better sunsets than Mongolia.
10. Russia is very, very Russian.

AN ADVENTURE IS ONLY AN ADVENTURE

IF YOU'RE UP FOR. IF YOU'RE NOT, IT'S JUST A PAIN IN THE ARSE!

I'm in Irkutsk, Russia. It's expensive and hard to organise. I have a bad chest infection and 'antibiotics' that do nothing except keep me sober. Tomorrow I get on an 87 hour train to Moscow (yes, 87 hours). Following that I have to catch a train to Warsaw, Poland because I couldn't get a train to Germany where I need to connect for my Eurostar line to London. And my Belarus transit visa is only for 2 days meaning I can't even chill for a couple of days to get better.
And to think that I chose to do this when my BOE where going to give me a nice pretty plane ticket home. Am I mad.
Will write again from Moscow.

LAST KENDO CLASS

Tonight I returned to Kendo for a last farewell. 'Cuz of my ankle injury I haven't trained in over four months so it was more of a goodbye and a photo-opt than a training session.
I learned a lot from both my Sensei and students in the last two years. Kimio Sensei is one of the strictest teachers I have learnt from, but also very, very kind. The kids love him, and despite such a small class they regularly win city competions against much bigger clubs.
I know I learned a lot, I just hope I can remember some.

Sensei presents with me a small present.
The elementary kids that beat the crap out of me with sticks for two years.The kids in practice.

UNBELIEVABLE

Talking to a teacher over lunch today I asked her what Japanese university students usually do for food. Eat out or cook or go to a canteen, etc. Her answer was that she had never lived away from home. This lead on to her telling me that her parents would only let her study in this prefecture and thus commuted to uni. She is twenty-seven, a junior high school teacher and has never lived alone. She still has to be home by 10pm every night. I think her subjects are social studies and geography. But how can you teach kids about life if you haven't lived?