THOSE CRAZY BEARS

Funniest thing happened the other day. I was out for a dander on my local mountain when I came across a big group of bears. I’ve previously spoke about my unnatural fear of bears, so as you can imagine, I was quite taken back to come across this herd of brown bears just chillin’ in the middle of the path. Surprisingly, I didn’t panic, scream or wet myself. Funny how it all works out, when your confronted with you worst fear you just want to sit and have a cup of tea with it. Weird!
So I approached the one that appeared to be King of the herd and he motioned for me to pull up a rock. To be honest I was expecting a bit of a stand off. You know, Like when you join a new school and you have to prove yourself before you get any respect. But, surprisingly, these bears weren’t as aggressive as my old classmates.
Of course conversation was a bit stinted since they only spoke Japanese (and with a thick country accent), but we were able to communicate okay. After a while I could kind of sense they wanted to know what I was doing in their neck of the woods all alone. Not having the Japanese to express my great love of the outdoors I tried impressing them by walking on my hands. This worked a treat. A great icebreaker, soon the bears all lightened up and started showing off too. They turned out to be a real fun bunch, laughing and growling and slapping each other on the back with their big ole paws. Man, we had a blast.
After about thirty minutes of this horseplay (bearplay?) I told them that I was keen on making it to the top, so please excuse me. But in true Japanese hospitality they offered to accompany me all the way to the top. They brought me a different route this time and showed me lots of cool stuff including a tree that looks like it’s giving birth to a rock. Some serious nature loving going on there.

And at the top they showed me a couple of random rope swings. We had tones of run. Those crazy bears are as mad as me. After an afternoon of playing around I impressed them even further by sharing my cup noodles and flask of hot water. I can still see the cute expression of amazement on Daddy Bear’s face when I opened the flask and the steam wafted out into the cold autumn air. Adorable!I made my way back alone, happy and fearless. I’m now welcome to hike in any part of the mountain I like, and they’ve even honored me by asking that I check over the place once in a while as they’ll be hibernating soon.

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This story is a work of fiction. Please do not worry or inform my doctor.