POSH FOR A DAY

When I was in Brazil I heard about an extremely posh hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina that does a wonderful afternoon tea. Being a huge fan of tea and new experiences I decided to go.
Super cool Canadian Janet, who I met in the hostel agreed to accompany me as she also had been harboring dreams of being posh for many years. So we put away our smelly, ripped backpacker clothes for the afternoon and went to the hotel.The hotel is called The Alvear Palace Hotel and was quite near our hostel in Recoleta. Upon arrival we were escorted to the L'Orangerie dining room. I don't think they normally escort customers, but perhaps they thought we were extra posh by the way we were acting, or perhaps they were worried about us stealing cutlery and stuff on the way.The hotel and dining room were very beautiful. We chose to sit in the huge conservatory area, within earshot of the live piano music. The waiters and waitresses were extremely professional and all donned in white gloves, etc.
Of course we pretended to be very posh and unintimidated by our surroundings. I dropped a few hints that my offshore oil business was doing quite well, and the second condo I'm building in the Caribbean is coming along nicely. Janet jabbered on about her poodles and how the colour of our new Ferrari didn't match her lipstick. Like a truly posh man, I ignored most of what she said with 'uh huh, yes dear', etc, whilst concentrating on my fingernails and pretending to wonder when I'd had my last pedicure (or is it manicure? Whatever!).I believe we really had the staff fooled for a while, but when I asked them to take photos, I think that was the giveaway. And then we just started messing around like the commoners we are. It was great fun and Janet is just as mad as me, so we had a great laugh. We even got our waitress laughing when, after putting an artistic swirl of chocolate on Janet's plate, I asked for an 'M' because it's my favourite letter and also the first of my name. Personally I think she done quite a good job, but if I was to be really critical I might point out the left hand side of the 'M' is much thicker than the right hand side. But then again, she hasn't had much practice with M's and I'm an English teacher so these things are more noticeable to me than most people. Waitress; if you are reading this, please don't fret, it was a good first attempt, thank you.Anyway, the food was lovely and tea amazing. Even the tea menu was something extraordinary. Over a three hour period our silver tea pots were constantly replenished with fresh tea leaves and water. Our plates where graced with delightfully presented cucumber and smoked salmon sandwiches, scones, vol-au-vents, cakes and pastries until we were so stuffed we could hardly say "rah rah".Then off we went, back to our smelly clothes, dormitory rooms and instant noodles, but not before generously tipping our waitress and saying "merci beucoup".